45 Days Until LOVE LUST FAITH + DREAMS

April 6th, 2013

Pre-order the album at thirtysecondstomars.com

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Realistic Urban Landscape Paintings by Nathan Walsh

April 6th, 2013

Many painters working from photographic source material employ a wide variety of techniques to arrive at a final image. This will involve anything from loose sketching beforehand to complex grids, where a photograph is translated into paint box by box. Such is not the case with British painter Nathan Walsh who instead relies on elaborate drawings reminiscent of architectural blueprints before every committing paint to canvas. This deep reverence for the underpinning geometry and perspective gives each work a sense of life that might otherwise not be present in something created with the mechanical aid of a camera or software.

Read + see more at the source.

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Visiting MTV Australia

April 5th, 2013

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Black Hole by Fabian Oefner

April 5th, 2013

Black Hole is the lastest project from Swiss photographer Fabian Oefner who is known for his photographic work with vibrantly colored paints, most notably manipulating it with sound and magnetic ferrofluid. For this latest project Oefner connected a metallic rod to an electric drill which was then covered in paint. Activating the drill then caused to paint to fling violently outward which he then captured with a precisely timed camera.

More info, pics, + video at the source

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Another Peek at NOTES FROM THE OUTERNET Photo Book Vol. 2

April 4th, 2013

Pre-order now: http://bit.ly/NOTESVol2

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Meanwhile, in Australia… #OMGWTF

April 4th, 2013

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Special 'SPARTACUS' WAR OF THE DAMNED ♥

"Spartacus: War of the Damned" Episode 10 Recap: “Terminus/The Next to Fall”

April 13, 2013

What an amazing final episode. What a tribute to a series that has rearranged our concepts of masculinity, femininity, violence, sexuality, and the ways in which television can and should depict all of these things. And what a tribute to the fallen. But, really, let’s just skip all that for a moment and go straight to the really bigholy crap moment of the evening, shall we?

The gays lived.

The gays lived! Seriously, when do the gays ever live? I’m pretty sure they killed all the gays at the end ofWill and Grace, that’s how rarely do the gays live. But our two fan favorites, Agron and Nasir, lived to walk off into the sunset (well, sunrise) together.

Wow.

Of course, not very many other people lived, but we’ll get to that.

The series finale opened as this series finale should: to the sounds of battle. When the light comes up we see the rebels attacking a Roman villa. Gannicus emerges from the carnage to tell the villa’s owner to free his slaves, and to tell other Romans that they, too, should free their slaves. When the villa owner, terrified, asks who he is, Gannicus replies, “I am Spartacus.”

Nice touch.

We spy others doing the same: Lugo, Nasir, and, lastly, Spartacus himself. While an allusion to the famed 1960 Stanley Kubrick film, the activities by the rebels are also designed to confuse Crassus, Caesar, andPompey. Not even the great Spartacus can be in six places at once. Can he?

As Crassus stares lovingly at his son’s death mask, he speaks harshly of wanting revenge on the man he blames for his son’s death: himself, err, I mean, Spartacus. But Crassus also recognizes that Spartacus is a crafty foe, and must be approached carefully.

Elsewhere, Spartacus, too, begins to prepare for the final battle. Caught between Pompey and Crassus, he knows he has but little choice left. Agron wishes to fight at the side of his brother in arms, and Spartacus tells him that if he can hold a sword, he can fight. Agron cannot. Spartacus orders him to lead those who cannot fight to safety in the mountains.

But Agron cannot have his comrade go to the final battle without him. And despite their previous parting (or perhaps because of it,) Nasir understands. So he fashions Agron a weapon: a shield, emblazoned with a red dragon, with various pointy blades sticking out from the surface. Agron does not need to grip this weapon—he can sling it across his forearm. Nasir understands; the two will go to the final battle together. As they embrace, the dark etchings of fate are reflected in the tenor of their eyes. They speak nothing, but say volumes to the other. They know this is the end.

(Except it isn’t.)

Gannicus makes love to Sibyl, and, afterward, tells her to make preparations to go to the mountains with the others. She protests, and says she does not wish to leave his side. But he tells her she must. He says: “You once told me the gods had sent me to save you. You were mistaken. You were the one sent. And I needed saving.” I swoon. Gannicus has shown such growth this seen, and now shows such poise and depth of feeling. Oh, dang it all, now I’m even starting to like Sibyl. These truly are the end times.

Crassus trains, preparing himself to fight, and Kore appears. The two stare at Tibby’s death mask and both talk about who Tibby used to be. Each has a sense of sorrow in their voice, but for different reasons; Crassus for the man Tibby was becoming, and Kore for the boy Tibby once was and the man he became. Caesar interrupts them: Spartacus has been spotted. Crassus orders the Romans to break camp. He moves to lead them, but Kore stops him. She says to him, “You did not ask why I turned from you,” but it seems clear that Crassus really does not want to hear it.

Laeta, like Sibyl, does not want to go forward without Spartacus, but, unlike Sibyl, she does not want to stay with Spartacus at the battlefield, but rather wishes Spartacus would accompany her to the mountains. Smart girl—I knew I always liked her. Spartacus tells her he cannot, but she already knows this. It is evident to both of them that he does not love her as he did Sura, his wife, but he does appreciate and respect her, and the two share a moment before parting.

Agron tells Spartacus he will fight, and Spartacus tells him they remain the two last brothers from the House of Batiatus. He tells his followers they must make preparations to leave, and that they must fly to freedom: “Part ways, and live free,” he exhorts them. In a truly beautiful scene, his people line up, one by one, to touch him, to thank him, and a chorus of the word “Gratitude” echoes through the night.

The scene is interrupted when Castus approaches, telling Spartacus that Crassus has spotted them. Spartacus urges his followers on ahead—no time for good-byes. Laeta says to Spartacus in parting: “I shall lend prayer toward the end of Crassus and the triumph of Spartacus,” but she knows that neither of those things is very likely. Sibyl kisses Gannicus goodbye, as well, wistfully, as if for the last time.

As the two armies prepare to meet in battle, a messenger approaches Spartacus, who hurls a spear at him. The messenger says he only brings news. When next we spy our hero, he and his most trusted lieutenants meet with Crassus and his men upon the plain. When Spartacus asks why Crassus wanted to meet, he answers, “Curiosity,” which, he says, is the same reason Spartacus accepted the meeting.

The two talk, alone, as equals. Crassus tells Spartacus he cannot win, but Spartacus reminds him that is of lesser consequence: what really matters, he says, is that the rebels “decide our fates,” not Rome, and not Crassus. Crassus tries to figure out what Spartacus’ end game may be, to seek a tactical advantage, but he soon realizes there is nothing that will ever cause Spartacus to quit, as Laeta told him many episodes ago.

Oh, and Spartacus lets it slip that it was a woman who killed Tibby—a woman whom Tibby had ill treated.

On return to his camp, Crassus is livid with Caesar. He demands to know the truth of Tibby’s death. Kore confesses that it was she who killed Tibby. Crassus demands to know why. It is Caesar who tells him that Tibby raped Kore. Crassus is clearly stricken by the news: “The son is but a reflection of the father,” he says. He smashes Tibby’s death mask in both anger over what he did and anger, perhaps, of the path that Crassus himself set his son upon. He then apologizes (yes, apologizes) to Kore and takes her into his arms. Wow. I did not imagine Crassus reacting this way to the news of how his son actually died, and the events that led up to it. Somehow, though, I do not think this is the end of this.

Spartacus looks at a map of the battlefield, but it is another map that truly catches his eye—the map of Thrace, his home. Gannicus enters and speaks of the odds of this battle, which Gannicus wagers are not in their favor. Spartacus goes into a rote speech about bucking the odds but Gannicus forestalls him—he understands all too well what is to come. After all, the love of Sibyl has even made Gannicus stop drinking, which has apparently cleared his mind to many a thing. Saving his speeches, Spartacus instead tells Gannicus about Sura, and that she prophesied that he will never love any woman but her. Gannicus asks if this is true, and Spartacus wryly smiles and says, yes, it is true. But, when he looks at his people, he sees them all as Sura. He loves them all and wishes to protect them, as he wished to do with his wife. Umm, seriously, am I the only one thinking Spartacus for President, 2016 (and considering his liberal acceptance of the gays, I presume he is a Democrat.)

As the two sides prepare for the final confrontation, Spartacus notices that Agron’s weapon has a red dragon on it, reminding him of another prophecy by Sura, a prophecy that seems, both to him and the audience, to have emerged from a lifetime ago. No matter. This is it. He is Spartacus.

The battle is engaged.

Crassus orders his catapults to fire, and tells his men to show no mercy. Spartacus and the rebels charge, even as their numbers fall from the wicked Roman weapons of war. They charge and charge and—suddenly stop. The Romans keep going and wham! They fall into a ditch Spartacus and company have prepared for them (a neat little trick he learned from Crassus, it seems.) Spartacus orders his archers to fire and more Romans fall. He then uncovers bridges and places them on the backs of the Roman army itself. As Crassus watches from afar, Spartacus is the first to cross, as he and his rebels charge into the heart of the Roman army, kicking butt left and right. Crassus coldly orders the catapults to fire on both the rebels and his own men. Caesar finds this disturbing, but Crassus says it will end this war. The Romans fire, and death rains down from on high as Spartacus continues charging forward.

Lugo is the first to fall.

Brawny Lugo is set ablaze by a Roman catapult, but still continues fighting, even as he burns, until a Roman cruelly dispatches him. Where is the cavalry when you need them? There they are, coming in the rear. Gannicus and Saxa, previously conspicuous by their absences, are riding horses and attacking the Roman rear. Their goal: to gain access to the Roman artillery. They point the catapults at the Roman army itself and fire. Crassus orders Caesar to go back and recapture the artillery.

Castus is the next to fall.

The rogue pirate fights bravely, and has earned his place among the champions of Spartacus’ army. But he is felled by Roman swords, and dies, as Nasir holds his friend and Agron looks on. Elsewhere on the battlefield, Crassus seeks Spartacus, while Spartacus does the same. Spartacus knocks Crassus off his horse, but before they can engage a group of Romans pull their Imperator off of the battlefield and up a small hill. The group of Roman soldiers does not deter Spartacus. He will engage Crassus, one way or the other.

Caesar fights Gannicus as the Romans try to regain their stolen artillery. The rebels fight bravely, but are soon outnumbered.

Saxa is the next to fall.

She dies as she lived, a warrior, and Gannicus holds her. She tells him, in Germaniac, that she is once again in his arms before she finally expires. Gannicus, enraged but his numbers dwindling, re-engages the Romans. Meanwhile, Spartacus dispatches Crassus’ guard, but not without taking on injury himself. It is he and Crassus, alone, one-on-one, slave versus master, rebel versus Roman, man on man. The two begin to fight.

Naevia is the next to fall.

It is Caesar who kills the injured warrior, with a smirk on his face as he takes the sword that belonged to Tibby away from her. (Seriously, Goldilocks, show some respect—Naevia has earned it!) Naevia dies and rejoins her beloved Crixus.

Gannicus fights a large group of Romans, who box him in between their shields and contain him. He is stabbed, beaten, disarmed, outnumbered twenty to one. Finally, it is Caesar who stays their hand, as he marches forward. Gannicus prepares himself for the final blow, but Caesar only punches him in the face, rendering him unconscious. His end is yet to come.

Crassus and Spartacus still do battle. It is evident that Spartacus’ earlier wounds are causing him to lose a lot of blood, and Crassus, thinking himself oh-so-slick, uses the move he used to defeat his former slave/trainer/aerobics instructor Hilarus and takes Spartacus’ sword and stabs him in the side. Spartacus, however, does not fall. He grabs a sword and prepares to give Crassus a death blow—when a Roman spear is thrown into him from behind. Then another, and another. Still, Spartacus will not fall. Crassus stays his men’s hands, and then tells Spartacus, “Would that you been born a Roman, and stood beside me.” Spartacus tells him no, he would not wish that so. He remembers his beloved wife as Crassus raises his hand—

But here comes Agron! And Nasir! Here comes the gays to save the day! (How many times have we all heard that phrase before?) Agron knocks Crassus down the hill while Nasir dispatches the remaining Romans. Spartacus asks for a sword, but then turns and sees his army defeated. Crassus races back up the hill—but the three are gone. He fumes.

Gannicus is the next to fall.

He is crucified along the Apian Way, nails piercing his wrists as he experiences tremendous agony. But then he spies Oenemaus, waiting to welcome him to the next world, and has a vision of himself back in the arena, a god once more. Beside him on the cross is Kore. Caesar says that it is a tragedy that someone so loved must share the rebels’ fate, but Crassus replies that she was known to have consorted with the rebels. The son, it seems, is a reflection of the father, indeed.

Pompey arrives, with Metellus in tow, gloating of his victory over the rebels in the north. He must have come across those who were too stricken or old to fight and were attempting escape. My heart aches. Caesar is quick to contradict him about whose victory it is, but Crassus interrupts, and heaps praise on Pompey. When Caesar demands to know why, Crassus says that now is the time to make an ally of Pompey, and that the three of them could make a powerful triumvirate indeed. Way to reference history (and a potential spin-off, should it ever happen.) And thus Crassus fades from our view.

Spartacus, indeed, is the last to fall.

Agron and Nasir have brought him to the foot of the Alps, where Laeta, Sibyl, and others await. It seems the group of followers split into two, and Pompey only found one group. The other escaped. Laeta kept her word to Spartacus to wait for him at the foot of the mountains, but Spartacus knows he will not make it across. He tells them, “There is no greater victory then to fall from this world a free man.” And then, with visions of his beloved Sura welcoming him home, he dies, just as the sun sets, and the rain begins to fall. Yes, once more, Spartacus is the bringer of rain.

Spartacus is buried, with Agron’s shield (with the red dragon) left as marker. It is left to Agron to have the final say: “One day Rome shall fade and crumble, yet you shall always be remembered in the hearts of all who yearn for freedom.” And then, as the sun rises, Agron, Nasir, Laeta, Sibyl, and other former slaves head off into the mountains, off to a new day made possible by the man they have just lain to rest. They head off to a world unknown, with only one beating truth remaining in their heart:

They are free.

Final thoughts: What can I say? The episode was a fitting end to a glorious legend and an amazing show. While I am sorry to see the series end, the producers, writers, cast and crew have left behind a legacy that reinvented the historical epic on television and created such rich, vibrant characters that will long be remembered after the series exists only in our hearts (and on DVD, Netflix, endless reruns on Starz, etc.) And, by the way, can I take a moment to heap praise on the show’s writers? They work with a form of dialogue that can sometimes tend to stilted or oddly structured, and yet they always—and most especially this season—craft the language to tease out every nuance and subtlety. Really, the entire season has been remarkable—the acting, the writing, the production, the casting. I know a show like Spartacus will never get any love from the Emmys, but it has been one of the most consistent, consistently entertaining, and consistently amazing shows on television. I will miss it—and all the hot naked beefy mancake it showed us every week. Oh, yes, I will miss that too.

Now is the time to roll credits, and Spartacus’ ending credits—with pictures of all the characters who came before—were a great way to remember them all. And the last image, of Andy Whitfield, a glorious actor, shouting in the arena, “I am Spartacus!”—perfect. Yes, he was Spartacus. So was Liam. And Manu, and Dan, and Cynthia, and Dustin, and Jai, and Ellen, and Katrina, and Peter, countless others. And, in a way, so were we all.

Live well, Spartacus, and pass into legend once more.

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Special 'SPARTACUS' Cast Interview ♥

Interview: Blessing Mokgohloa of "Spartacus"

April 11, 2013

"Apologies, Nasir, but, seriously, can you really resist this sexy pirate grin?"

The body count grew in last week’s penultimate episode of the Starz drama Spartacus: War Of The Damned, but the good news is that our beloved Agron (Dan Feuerriegel) did not perish as we were lead to believe. Instead he came down off the cross (literally) and was reunited with love of his life, Nasir (Pana Hema Taylor).

Since we’ve already hit many emotional highs in these last episodes, creator Steven S. DeKnight is obviously not holding back and, having seen the last episode, I can promise he delivers a series finale worthy of the entire Spartacus franchise.

Part of what made the Nagron story so compelling this season was introduction of the strapping Castus(Blessing Mokgohloa). The sexy pirate made it clear early in the season that he had eyes for Nasir, he and didn’t mind if Agron knew it. But now that Nagron is back together, will Castus accept that or make one last ditch play for the doe-eyed Nasir?

I recently spoke with Mokgohloa about his part in Spartacus, and the awesome gay love triangle his pirate character helps anchor.

AfterElton: Tell me how Castus came into your life. Was it the usual audition circuit, and how much did you know going in?
Blessing Mokgohloa: Yeah. That pretty much is it. I just auditioned for the show. It actually was a little bit of a surprise for me because I didn’t think they were still casting for the show when I actually got the audition for Castus. So yeah, I guess that was a fortuitous turn of events.

When I auditioned all I got was that the character was a pirate and he was into guys. And I just had one note, don’t play him camp. That was it. And don’t play the typical pirate either so those were the only notes I got coming in. I pretty much tried to do as much research as I could with the little information I got. So I looked up information on Cilician pirates, just so I would kind of have an idea of where this character is coming from beforehand. I think that an advantage for me auditioning is that I really was a big fan of the show. So I kind of understood the style of the show.

AE: I know a lot of fans were not very happy to see Castus wedge his way in between Agron and Nasir. Did you hear any of that once the episodes started airing? 
BM: Yeah. I’ve interacted with the fans on Twitter, which is one great thing about this age of technology we are living in. It’s almost getting close to the experience of working in theater where you have immediate audience response. Not quite, obviously, but you still get to see how the fans take in the content of the show. And they’re so into it. They pick up on all of the intricacies of all the characters, which is great because I just do my job and I hope that it translates well. I think Steven DeKnight is probably in his castle up on some hill, rubbing his hands gleefully, because it’s all going according as planned. 

AE: How is it working with Dan and Pana? You played aggression with Dan, but then the opposite with Pana since that was much more flirtatious.
BM: You know what? Those guys are such incredible talents. I mean, obviously that shows on the screen but both Dan and Pana are also incredible professionals. Dan, Pana and I would goof around on set, but we were all a hundred percent committed once we’re on the scene so…it was effortless working with those two, I should say.

Castus cleans up nice, don't ya think?

AE: You mentioned a little bit about how your direction in the beginning was not to play it campy as far as the gay element. How challenging was that when it’s getting very erotic in how you talked to Nasir, basically saying, “Dude, I want you.” It was really hot, by the way!
BM: Thank you. Well, I guess it’s just preparation really, and you have to understand what the intentions behind the text are. That’s the most important thing. If you try and get bogged down in the lines then you’re not going to tell the story as it’s supposed to be told. People only say things to get a message across, to get something out of somebody or some situation. So it’s all about understanding the intention behind the lines, and after that everything kind of falls into place.  

Will this Spartacus love triangle end happily ever after?

 (l-r, Blessing Mokgohla, Dan Feuerriegel and Pana Hema Taylor)

AE: I thought for sure once Nasir thought Agron was dead that he probably would end up with Castus, at least for one of those hot sex scenes that we see on Spartacus. However, Nasir almost blames Castus and there’s a little animosity between the two of them before they find out that Agron is actually still alive. Can you talk about shooting those scenes?
BM: Yes. That scene where Nasir, Agron and Castus have a little fight is probably one of my favorite scenes for Castus. In that moment he decides to let go of pushing for Nasir because he actually really does care for Nasir deeply, and he realizes he has to stop being selfish and let Nasir move on with his life. And if Agron is his one true love then so be it.

AE: Once Agron returned in last week’s episode and Nasir finds out he’s alive, how does that change Castus moving into the finale?
BM: Initially, it’s just about lust with [Castus] and Nasir, and it also kind of turns into him not wanting to be told what to do by Agron. So there is a bit of that. But as the characters evolve Castus does get really strong feelings for Nasir. And then, of course, after [episode] 309 he realizes that no matter what he tries to do, he might try to push but Nasir really is 150 percent devoted to Agron. I guess he makes the decision after 309 to either have Nasir as a really good friend or not at all.

AE: Talk to me about preparing for the physical challenges of the show and, of course, knowing that you might be close to naked at times.
BM: My character only comes in in episode three so unfortunately - and I’m really bummed out about this - I missed out on the boot camp. Because all of the other actors were already done even before I got there, and I really wanted to do it. I got to do a few days of the boot camp. I got a taste of it. It’s painful, I’ll tell you that. I’d like to say after the end of it you kind of feel good for having done it but no, no…

But I think the hard work actually starts after we start filming because you’re doing 12 to 14 hour days. You get home but you still have to find time to stay fit because you’ll lose it. So fortunately I had a really good gym partner in Todd Lasance (Caesar). He and I pushed each other a lot so some days I would motivate him and some days he would do the same for me, because you have up and down days. You get home at eight p.m. after a long day of shooting, the last thing you want to do is walk to the gym and put in an hour session but with Todd and I training together we kind of kept that going throughout the season, which I think paid off.

AE: Well, from a viewer standpoint and a gay man’s standpoint, yes, it did.
BM: Thank you.

AE: Talk to me about TJ Scott’s In The Tub book, which it seems most of the guys from the show are in. And you guys were in tubs of milk?
BM: Yeah. TJ is an incredible talent. He’s got all of these little tricks that he does. I think he poured a liter or two of milk into a bathtub and you get that milky effect but I think those shoots for me were pretty incredible purely because TJ did everything by himself. He literally would be running around the set. I’m just sitting in the tub. He’s switching the lights around, testing everything, and he’s so quick. He’s running the smoke machine. He’s running the lights. He’s running the camera. He’s up and down scaffolding getting different angles. He is an incredible talent…I was walking around literally to every single actor I saw and told them how great TJ’s shoots were so by the end of it a whole bunch of guys had joined me in the tub so that was great.

Wait, was Blessing Mokgohloa all alone in this tub for the In The Tub photo book?

AE: Wait. They joined you in the tub…

BM: No, no....[we both laugh]

AE: Because that’s a whole other kind of conversation…

BM: That would make for interesting photos!

AE: And a different kind of book! So what are you doing now that Spartacus is behind you?

BM: Nothing that I can really announce yet but I’m still looking around and seeing what the opportunities are going to be for me. Hopefully I’ll be moving to LA towards the end of the year.

AE: It sounds like a lot of you guys are ending up in LA so you have to have a little Spartacus reunion in here.

BM: Yeah. We always do. We call them Spartie parties. It’s kind of incredible because you work on different projects in this industry but the Spartacus guys kind of really are a family…the Spartie family is really tightly knit.

The series finale of Spartacus: War of the Damned airs Friday at 9pm followed by the premiere of Da Vinci’s Demons at 10pm on Starz.

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Special 'SPARTACUS' WAR OF THE DAMNED ♥

"Spartacus: War of the Damned" Episode 9 Recap: Ye Olde Gladiator Magic

April 6, 2013

Picture it: Sicily (well, at least Italy,) 1922. BC. (Okay, actually it’s more like 68 BC, but you see where I am heading with this.) A small group of Roman soldiers huddle around a fire. Their leader grouses that they have only one rabbit to eat amongst them. Guess his portion didn't include the foot because suddenly, out of the night, a flaming arrow pierces him through the gut. Hmm.

Perspective. It’s all about perspective. And, in many ways, this penultimate episode of Spartacus is about perspective as well. Beautifully, the episode takes a good long glance backward before the series hurtles inevitably toward its bittersweet conclusion. We spend time remembering old friends and go back to where this all started—back to the sands, back to fighting gladiator to gladiator, as if we never left them at all.

Attacking this small group of Roman soldiers is Spartacus and company. However, these Romans do not wear the crest of Crassus. Laeta confirms for Spartacus that these are Pompey’s men. Great. Now the rebels are caught between two armies, each vying to be the one that causes Spartacus to kick his final bucket, if you know what I mean. Could things get any worse? Suddenly, a lone rider approaches. The figure is dressed in the cloak of a Roman solider, but this is no Roman. It is a battered and defeated Naevia. And she brings with her the only spoil of war that remains. The head of the undefeated Gaul, Crixus himself.

Oh, well. At least his hair has never looked better all season.

Naevia is clearly in need of a weekend at the spa and a few sessions on Dr. Phil’s couch, because the girl is majorly bumming that she has been walking around with a handbag made out of her dead lover’s cranium (helpful note to my readers: if Naevia offers you mints from her purse, pass.) She tells Spartacus and everyone of the many victories the rebels had and how they stood before the very gates of Rome itself until Crassus caught up with them. She tends to linger on the “Crixus getting stabbed from behind by Tibby” part of the story, but, if I were her, I’d try to look on the bright side of things. Girl, you are still alive, and you finally stopped rocking those dreads. Honestly, honey, things could be worse.

Nasir asks Naevia of the fate of Agron, but her silence seems, despite what William Shakespeare once said, not to herald any news of joy. Naevia says that she was spared only “to taunt Spartacus with vision of his end,” though, frankly, I would not mind it one bit if Spartacus decided to taunt the audience with a few visions of his end, because it looks like one fine piece of man-end, if you know what I mean. Spartacus says that the rebels should not fret over Crassus; Pompey, who seems closer, is the more pressing threat.

Elsewhere, Crassus and Tibby express their frustration that despite all of their various methods of torture, none of the rebels will spill any vital intel on where Spartacus is, what he is doing, and what he wants for Saturnalia this year. You mean torture doesn’t work? From your lips to Dick Cheney’s ears, Crassus!

News comes from the follower’s camp: it appears that the “working woman” who knew about Tibby’s rape of Kore has mysteriously been ripped from stem to stern. Caesar wonders aloud what might have transpired, and while Tibby is eager to blame some guy named Jack, Caesar knows better.

Two soldiers from Pompey approach, carrying news of a possible parley. Crassus snorts that he will never deign to be seen going into Pompey’s camp, especially because he dresses like a toughie and lives on the wrong side of the tracks (how very S. E. Hinton of him.) The envoy says that Pompey is suggesting that the two men bring twenty soldiers and meet on neutral ground. Tibby thinks this is a bad idea—he rambles on about saving face and Daddy Crassus has money, blah blah—while Caesar demurs. He suggests sending Tibby instead, as Tibby is the word and will of Crassus. Crassus is not sure Tibby is seasoned enough to play diplomat with Pompey, but Caesar heartily says he is. Tibby is pleased at this turn of events, imagining that his “quality bonding time” with Caesar has really adjusted someone’s attitude. Tibby is sent on to meet Pompey.

In the rebel camp, Naevia speaks with Kore, and asks her, if she was the slave of Crassus and shared his bed, why did she not gut him like a fish one night while he slept? Kore points out that blood is super difficult to get out of 1000-count fiber Egyptian sheets, and while she grieves with Naevia over her loss, she points out that they cannot live in the past. Naevia mumbles a reply about kicking Roman arse, and I am starting to think our girl is really losing it.

Tibby shows up for his meeting with Pompey looking all spiffy and scowly, as his father taught, but—guess what—turns out the envoy did not come from Pompey at all, but from Spartacus. Whoops! No one saw that coming—except, apparently Caesar, who recognized the men as belonging to Spartacus but said nothing so he could maneuver Tibby to his doom. Caesar says as much to a “lady who charges by the hour” who is upset of the death of her friend. Caesar tells her that thoughts of sexy flesh will dry her tears. Wow, that Caesar, all work and no play (at least for the woman it’s work.)

Tibby is chained by the rebels, and Kore catches a glimpse of him. Spartacus announces they will have games to honor the fallen, saving Tibby and his men to sacrifice in the arena. He gives Naevia the sword Crixus had earlier taken from Tibby. If I were her, I’d have preferred a tennis bracelet or a new dishwasher, but that’s just me.

Agron yet lives! But not for long, if Caesar and Crassus have their way. “Crucify him!” Crassus orders, and if my throat wasn’t full of lumps I’d probably be making a Jesus Christ Superstar joke about now. They order him crucified, and Agron is nailed to a board and hung from a cross. The scene where Agron is nailed to the board… seriously, I’m too delicate for stuff like this.

An envoy from Pompey then arrives. Wait, didn’t I already type that sentence? Ahh, this turns out to be thereal envoy, which leads Crassus to suspect that the first one was sent by Spartacus. Ooh, treachery. Well, as a very famous public service announcement commercial says, “He learned that by watching you!” Daddy Crassus. Crassus refuses to believe Tibby is dead and sends Caesar to find a way to bring him home. Do whatever you have to, Crassus implies, and Caesar knows that he is not coming back from his mission empty-handed, one way or the other, or he is not coming back at all.

In the rebel camp, Tibby grouses about Caesar betraying him. Sigh. Do you remember our sweet little twink in the opening episodes, desperate to prove himself to his domineering father and making ridiculously “big boy” proclamations to his hunky love muffin Sabinus? I still want to know exactly what was going on between those two (well, mostly I just want to see the pictures…) Sadly, that boy is long gone, and now Tibby has devolved from the guy with the seriously cute ass to just an ass.

Kore swings by to gloat, and Tibby tells her that Daddy Crassus still loves her, and that if she can find a way to free him, he will restore her to his father’s good graces. Kore seems genuinely moved to hear about Crassus’ feelings, and tells Tibby that she will return for him that evening—when they drag his sorry butt onto the sand and kick it from one end of the Empire to the other. Seriously, I love that all the women onSpartacus end up tough as nails. Apparently slave rebellion is good for one’s sense of agency (bad for one’s split ends, though, right Naevia?)

The rebels prepare a makeshift arena for their tribute games. I find myself reminiscing fondly about the very first episodes of the series. Spartacus stands forth, taking on the role that so many loud-voiced Romans played before him, and announces the games. Shades of Batiatus and the magistrates of old, only this time, as Spartacus points out, there is a change. Before, he and his brothers had been captured by Romans, enslaved, and forced to participate in the games for their amusement. Now, however, the Romans will entertain the slaves. Spartacus turns to his denizens: “Let me entertain you!” he shouts. Offstage, Laeta wheedles, “Sing out, Louise!” (“Louise” must be her pet name for him.)

The first Roman is brought out. Tibby has instructed his men not to fight back, not to offer entertainment to the masses, so the first Roman throws his sword to the sand. Spartacus swiftly turns him into a human Pez dispenser (though I’m pretty sure that’s not cherry-flavored candy coming out of his neck,) and despite his lack of fight the crowd seems highly entertained to watch him die. Spartacus has two Romans sent out next, and in a bout worthy of the WWE, he acrobatically kicks Romans tushy.

Watching the games for the first time, Sibyl (I almost forgot about her—almost, but not quite,) turns toGannicus. When she asks about the games, he speaks wistfully about life on the sands. Clearly, he has missed this. He says to her, “To stand upon the sands again… to know clear purpose of who you are and what must be done. That is a thing most dear to all my kind.” (Okay, he may not have said “most dear,” but my dog took that particular moment to sneeze on my hand, so I confess to missing a couple of words there. If anyone can fill in the blank, much obliged. And yes, dog sneezes in theory are cute; dog sneezes on hand, in practice, not so much.)

Gannicus takes to the sands next, and to one-up Spartacus he takes on three Romans at once. I had a good friend who once took on three Romans at once, but as this is a PG website, I’ll refrain from sharing the details. While Gannicus fights, Spartacus snuzzles with Laeta, and while I am glad those two crazy kids are getting on so well, finding them all hugs and kisses is a little bit weird. Laeta shies away from the games, and Spartacus asks her if it is because it is one of her kind being killed. Laeta says that the Romans are not her kind anymore, and that she looks away because of the gore, but she totally revels in the bloodbath of it all on the inside. Clearly we have a case of Sinuessa Syndrome here, with Laeta playing the part of Patty Hearst.

Gannicus separates a Roman solider from his helmet holder, and, predating the NASCAR t-shirt cannon by a good 2000 years, launches the head into the crowd. Thank God at Mardi Gras they only throw beads. As the rebels go through the Romans one by one, Tibby looks as nervous as a hillbilly on his first trip to the dentist.

We see all the remaining gladiators—Lugo, Saxa—get their turn in the ring. Then Nasir gets a turn, while Naevia waits anxiously. She tells Spartacus that she used to loathe the games, but now they are all she longs for. In the “arena,” Nasir fights on, and Castus looks both mildly worried and incredibly turned on. Then again, when is that sexy pirate never turned on?

A solider comes for Gannicus and Spartacus. Turns out, they have company—the traitor Benedict Caesar. Gannicus is unsurprisingly not happy to see him, but Spartacus wants to hear him out. Caesar offers 500 of Spartacus’ men in exchange for the life of Tibby. Hmm. They better hurry up if they are going to do this. Tibby is being led out to fight Naevia and he looks as anxious as a first grader playing a bumblebee in the school play. Yup—there he goes. I think Tibby just filled his stinger with a healthy dose of “brown honey,” if you know what I mean.

Despite his fear, Tibby tries to show bravado, saying to Naevia, “I would have my sword returned to me, slave!” Way to throw shade, Tibby. In return, Naevia scornfully calls him a woman. Uhh, isn’t Naevia a woman? So did she just insult Tibby by calling him a Naevia? Circular logic notwithstanding, the two clash in battle. We’re all having flashbacks to Ashur and the end of the previous season, but Naevia proves more than a match for Tibby. She’s the gladia-tromatic—she slices, she dices, and soon she is ready to plop his head right off. But just as the death blow comes, Spartacus stays her hand. Kore and the entire crowd are clearly disappointed, but Spartacus tells them of Caesar’s deal and lets Naevia decide what to do. Again, I love the forward-thinkingness of Spartacus’ operation. Women can be gladiators, women make command decisions. They would even wear pants, if someone had invented them already.

Naevia decides the lives of her comrades are worth more than killing Tibby, though she wallops him on the nose and promises that his respite from death will be a short one. She is right, because as Spartacus brings Tibby forward to give to Caesar, Kore rushes up and stabs Tibby right in the kidneys (with, I believe, his father’s knife. Nice touch.) Tibby goes down and we finally learn that there will be no spin-off for him. Caesar and Spartacus are both not happy—now what will they do? Kore says that Crassus will still make the exchange, if they offer him something he would want as much as Tibby alive.

We next see Crassus, grief-stricken over Tibby’s body, while Caesar tells him that Spartacus went to make the deal but an old slave man rushed from the crowd to kill Tibby. Cough, cough, bullpoopy, cough, cough. Crassus wonders why Caesar went ahead and made the deal anyway, and he says he took advantage of an unforeseen opportunity, and presents Kore to Crassus. Will Crassus kill her? Will he kiss her? He decides on the latter, but when she melts and calls him “Marcus,” he coldly tells her, “You shall address me as dominus.” Well, except on Saturday nights, when she gets to call him Long Crassus Silver.

We watch as the wounded rebels are returned to Spartacus. There are many tearful reunions and—happily—included among them is Nasir and Agron. Oh, bless the gay gods for that one! Nasir tells his love, “The gods return you to my arms,” and Agron replies, “I was fool to ever leave them” Damn right you were! Now that you got that through your thick Germaniac skull, you and Nasir go run off and open a nice boutique somewhere on the Mediterranean. Go on, Scoot! Maybe Agron is still rough around the edges, but I could so see Nasir as a haberdasher any day.

In a final ceremony, the rebels pay homage to Crixus (well, to his head at least) and the other fallen. Spartacus gives a stirring speech, and the names of all the (prominent) dead are recalled: Sura, Mira, Barca, Oenomaus, and various other names I am too tired to look up the spelling for. Then Spartacus tells the rebels they must now prepare for the final stand against Rome. They will either triumph and live free, or perish and join their fallen comrades in the heavens. Either way, Spartacus figures they only have until next Friday at about 9:47 before most of them are strung up along the Appian Way like seriously demented Christmas lights.

Final thoughts: I found this whole episode perfect in tone, a glorious way to look back at the journey that has brought the rebels (and the viewers) here. Long lost comrades were remembered, a villain was dispatched, and, once more, we saw Spartacus, Gannicus, and the gladiators trod upon the sand. Next week the ending will likely not be so glorious, but, for one final time, we all got to fight along with Spartacus, the Maker of Rain, the victor on the sands, the hero of the arena. (And, if we buy the DVD set, we can do it again, and again, and again—oh, who am I kidding. If we buy the DVDs, we’re just going to fast forward to all the gay love-making parts.)

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